Top Ten Signs That You Are A DVD Junkie
This list is compiled from various posts in alt.video.dvd. Authors are
credited at the end, except for MrDJ who started this most entertaining
thread so he gets two credits. This is one of the best (and funniest) threads
I have ever read on alt.video.dvd.
You know you're a DVD junkie if...
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You buy DVDs because they have great "demo" scenes
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You know who Bill Hunt is
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Warner has written telling you that you have exceeded your limit of free
DVDs
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You have written Dreamworks (or Fox or Paramount), demanding they support
open DVD
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You bought a movie you don't really like that much, just because it has
a new 5.1 soundtrack
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You have been to Montgomery Wards recently
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You know what I refer to when I say, "The Diva scene"
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You can spell or pronounce "anamorphic"
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You can define anamorphic
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YOU READ THIS POST (and replied with your own Top Ten sign)
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You have a "Die Divx" bumper sticker
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You buy movies you thought sucked and suddenly they become quite enjoyable
because it's on a dvd.
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Your wife now loves DVD because she realises that you will even watch 'chick
flicks' with her, but only to check out the transfer and sound quality
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When you have the list DVDs you will purchase 2 months before their release
date.
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You experience withdrawal symptoms when you haven't purchased at least
one DVD in one or two weeks.
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You bought ten discs before your player arrived.
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You've maxed out a credit card on DVD purchases.
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Your order history page on DVD Express has a "Next Page" button.
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You have purchased another copy of a movie you already have because it
was a great deal.
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You bought several DVDs before you owned a DVD player...
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You bought a DVD player before you had a TV with S-Video inputs...
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You went broke BUYING a TV with S-video inputs...
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You bumped off a family member and cashed in the insurance policy for a
Dolby Digital reciever...
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You realized that you don't have to spend $27 dollars at a theater to see
an out-of-focus-sound-too-low movie surrounded by cying babies who smoke
pot and kick your chair...
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You REALLY wanna buy Monster Cable but you're scared of meeting one of
the posters who hates it...
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You canceled your cable service since you don't watch it anymore...
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You know who DaViD Anderson is...
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You wish you DIDN'T know who DaViD Anderson is...
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You now hate the man who gave you more entertaining films than any other
director in your youth,Mr. Divx himself...Lil' Stevie Spielberg!
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You've taken a night-class in mathematics to better understand ratios.
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You don't confuse DVDs with men's underwear
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You've boycotted an electronics store
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You've boycotted a studio
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When you hear the term "VHS", you cringe as though someone scraped a chalkboard
with their fingernails.
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You now think of "Double-D's" as Dolby Digital, rather than bra size.
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You end your signature with a .1.
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Your friends/family are impressed that you have artifacts
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You DIDN'T buy the VHS version of "Titanic"
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Someone asks "Want some Pop?" and you reply "No thanks I just need 4"
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You purchase a DD"Ready" receiver a year before you actually get your DVD
player...
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You backorder "Das Boot" from Suncoast video three weeks before your new
credit card with which you will purchase your DVD player comes in.
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You constantly read back copies of "Video" and "Home Theater" magazines,
reading DVD disc reviews over and over, until you know them by heart....
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You consider boycotting "Video" magazine until they fire that pro-DIVX
%$##% Ken C. Pohlman....
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You KNOW who Ken C. Pohlman is...
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You make a point of dropping in the Circuit City store in the mall every
time you are there just to harass the employees.."You're not REALLY gonna
promote this DIVX garbage, are you?????"
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You pop in your widescreen VHS version of Total Recall into your VCR and
pretend it's a DVD, waiting for the day......
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You put postings on other newsgroups promoting DVD over DIVX (like, "Would
you rather see Buffy the Vampire slayer on DVD, or DIVX," "B5 on DVD or
DIVX" "If you were in a bomb shelter after a nuclear war, would you rather
have DVD, or
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....." You get the picture.)
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Your plans for a dream home now include (as a priority) a theater in the
home (as opposed to merely "Home theater") with a Runco front projector,
authentic theater seats, posters, a popcorn machine and candy counter with
raisinettes, goobers, junior mints, etc, a coke fountain, Sunfire receivers,
amps, and subwoofers, and a color LCD touchpad that controls several Runco
200-disc DVD players(which have built-in SCSI drives), which should be
enough to collect most of the movies made by man
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You waste many hours each week on this newsgroup!.
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You reconfigure your browser to start at the digitalbits.com
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You find yourself drooling over the terms 16:9, 5.1, commentary track
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You look for excuses to go into Montgomery Wards
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You hide dvd purchases from the wife
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You hide dvd purchases from your kids
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You stop sneaking out to play golf so you can sneak out to buy dvd's
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You know what an AC500 is
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You're on a first name basis with the UPS guy
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You can recite layer changes of every dvd you own (and some you don't)
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You have dvd's that you haven't even unwrapped, but still keep buying more
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You know what RSDL stands for (bonus: you know what the first RSDL DVD
was)
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You slip terms like "sixteen-by-nine downconversion artifact" into casual
conversation
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You berate your lowbrow friends for having the sharpness turned up on their
TV, saying "go back to Circuit City where you belong!"
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You assume that someone will be insulted by an insinuation that he shops
at Circuit City
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You get butterflies in your stomach when watching a Columbia or Tri-Star
film in the theaters because you know the DVD's video quality will really
kick ass
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APOLLO 13 launch scene: 25 viewings; rest of movie, 2.5 viewings
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You find yourself wishing that brilliant movies like L.A. CONFIDENTIAL
and TWELVE MONKEYS had more kewl demo scenes
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You go to at least two A/V shows a year, mostly to see how great your DVDs
"will" look once you get that $30,000 Snell and Wilcox Interpolator and
$20,000 Runco projector to replace your $500 27" TV
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You have seen parts of THE FIFTH ELEMENT on at least one million dollars
of A/V equipment
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You actually own TWISTER, ERASER, THE JACKAL, THE FIFTH ELEMENT or STARSHIP
TROOPERS
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You think CASINO was Scorcese's best film, since after all, it's 16x9-enhanced,
one-side RSDL with DD5.1 sound
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You have bought DVD's "sight unseen" (i.e. without ever having seen the
movie)
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You sneak out on you wife in the labor room while you make a quick trip
to Ward's (hey, it was early in the process & I was going out to get
something to eat!)
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You lose your DVD remote and immediately think "new player" instead of
waiting to find it or replace it.
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You go out and buy 7 DVD movies in one night, and 5 of them are movies
you haven't even seen yet.
Credits
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MrDJ
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DennisL
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racerx66
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Paul Wheatley
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Tom Ripley
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!Koi
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miracleman
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S.S.
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Maagic
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JPo6531128
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Minesh
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Vertigo 310
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mikah
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Eric