Top 9 Things I Found MOST Irritating About Godzilla

I went to see Godzilla with an open mind. Unfortunately, it was the most inane and ridiculous movie I have ever seen. So bad, in fact, that I have been moved to create this page - it started off as the Top 5 things, but I kept thinking of REALLY BAD things to add in. Here's someone else's opinion. And here's 9 reasons for liking Godzilla (well sort of). I am now collecting links to Godzilla reviews - a very entertaining pastime. See the bottom of the page.

9. The reuse (3 times) of the footage of the Japanese man having a cigarette lighter waved under his nose saying "Gojira...Gojira...Gojira". Seeing it once was bad enough but the footage just had to be recycled twice.

8. The sheer stupidity of Matthew Broderick apparently not realizing he is standing in a huge footprint. Is he blind, or is he stupid (or is it just the audience)?

7. The childish attempted attack on Siskel & Ebert. Just because the critics don't like previous movies you have done (eg Independence Day - another stinker which I will write up sooner or later) does not give you the right to attempt to insult them in your next movie. This shows gross disrespect to your audience who would rather see Hollywood bitchiness off screen rather than pay to see it presented on screen.

6. The really inane side plot of the French secret agent's quest for a good cup of coffee. Was this supposed to be an attempt at humour? Guess what, it wasn't funny.

5. The videotape labelled "Top Secret". Get serious!

4. The obvious errors of scale. A monster that is as tall as a skyscraper and yet fits into subway tunnels. Hmmmm, must be his special "shrinko" powers that we weren't told about.

3. Audrey (Matthew Broderick's 'love interest'). How insipid and puerile can a character yet? Godzilla chomping Audrey (or maybe they could even have the plant from Little Shop Of Horrors do it) - I'd like to see that!

2. The blatant product placements. If I want to see an ad for Blockbuster Video or Swatch, I will turn on my television. The worst part about these product placements is that the action just STOPS while they have their 30 second ad spot. This movie is the worst example of this that I have seen to date (paying to see advertisements does NOT appeal to me).

1. That #$%@ rain!

Rating 0/10
© Michael Demtschyna
Any comments?

Links To Other Peoples' Reviews

Alex Patterson (out of 4)
All-In-One (out of 5)
American Movie Reviews
Andy Groom ("sadly lacking")
Apollo Leisure Guide (out of 10)
B. Fatt & Lazy (B. Fatt)  (Lazy)
Barbara Shulgasser (San Francisco Examiner)  ("You got a 100-foot monster trashing Manhattan, and you want a plot, too?")
Beau Murray (out of 10)
BigScreen Cinema Guide (multiple reviews, mainly bad)
Bill Chambers (ActiveGuide) 0 (out of 4)
Bjorn Thomson (Savoy Magazine) (out of 4)
Brendan McBride (out of 10)
Brian Thomas ("Godzilla is only exciting when the monsters are onscreen")
Bruce Diamond (Hollywood Movies & Reviews) (out of 4)
Carmelo & Wesley (out of 9)
Chad Polenz (out of 4)
Chris A. Bolton (24 Frames Per Second) ("run for the exits as fast as you can")
Chris Holland & Scott Hamilton (Stomp Tokyo) (out of 5)
Christine Phillips (Flying Inkpot Movie Reviews) (WEIRD review)
Christopher Brandon (TNT) (out of 10)
coaster (out of 10)
The Common Guy C-
Dave George(out of 4)
Dave Saunders
Dr. Daniel (out of 5)
Dr_NiK and Keyser Soze (out of 10)
drkpitt (out of ?)
Dwayne Gilepski (out of 10)
Eddie Cockrell (Nitrate Online) ("The acting is as engagingly shallow as the characters themselves")
eirias ("a scary thrill ride")
The Flick Filosopher ("Godzilla failed to live up to already low expectations")
Gareth Watkins (out of 10)
Gary Kamiya ("The plot is about as ridiculous as you'd expect")
Gena Radcliffe ("Godzilla is pretty much one of those "leave your brain at home" type movies")
Harry J Knowles (Ain't-It-Cool) ("Gosh, that film sucks")
Harvey O'Brien ("a pretty weak picture")
Heather Clisby (Movie Magazine International) ("don't bother bringing your brain, you'll only hurt yourself.. ")
Internet Movie Database Links to Reviews
Jack Choo (Flying Inkpot Movie Reviews) (out of 5)
Jack Garner ("Godzilla delivers best what summer filmgoers want")
James Berardinelli (out of 4)
James O'Ehley(out of 4)
Jeremy M. Posner (Film Scouts) ("Godzilla is everything it tries to be")
Jim Byerley (HBO) ("The new GODZILLA has everything that money can buy except a good script, decent characters and a sense of humor")
Joey (out of 5)
John Hartl ("it's process cheese without flavor")
John Powell (Jam! Showbiz) (out of 5)
John Robinson (out of 5)
John Zhu ("big lizard, bigger bust")
Jon Gonzales ("Godzilla is rife with plot holes, physically impossible stunts, cardboard comedic figures and  product placement spots")
Joshua Smith ("special effects do nothing to cover up the holes in its script")
Krazy Kevin ("a confused, cover-all-bases chick-flick of a disaster film")
Leah Rozen ("You couldn't care less what happens to the movie's flimsy characters")
Lisa Alspector (Chicago Reader) ("overlong, neither funny nor scary movie")
Lisa Osborne (Box Office Magazine) ("lasts about 20 minutes too long and needs a script")
Liz Braun (Toronto Sun) ("New monster movie is long on critter, but comes up short on jitters")
Louis B. Hobson (Calgary Sun) ("Maria Pitillo as his ditzy, lovelorn girlfriend is excruciatingly bad")
Manny Nevarez (out of 4)
Marc Horton (Edmonton Journal) ("Great effects, but there's no story")
Mark Ramsey (Moviejuice) ("a movie that fulfilled every diminished expectation imaginable")
Matt Easterbrook (out of 5)
Matthew Leary (Radio Free Movie Review) (out of 10)
Michael Dequina ("technically superb but flavorless piece of sci-fi hackwork")
Michael Grace (out of 5)
Mick LaSalle (San Francisco Chronicle) ("an overblown action monstrosity with no surprises, no exhilaration and no thrills")
Mike (out of 5)
MovieViews (out of 5)
Mr. Cranky (out of 5)
Mr. Jeff (out of 12)
Mr Showbiz (out of 10)
Nathaniel R. Atcheson (out of 10)
Paul (out of 10)
Peter Rainer ("Godzilla remake isn't up to snuff")
The Projectionist
Ram Samuldrala ("The effects are great and represent the sole reason to see this movie")
Red Mike ("not even rental")
Roger Ebert
Roger Moore
Ronnie Sevin (Movies At Home)(out of 5)
RW (The DVD Journal) (out of 10)
Ryan Doom (out of 5)
Scott Murdock (out of 10)
Screen It! (out of 10)
The Self-Made Critic (out of 5)
Shane Ham (Journal X) ("the plot and characters are as ridiculous as Independence Day")
Shawn Levy (out of 4)
Skyler Miller (Reel Time)
Sleep Deprivation Institute (out of 5)
Stephan Magcosta ("sappy, borderline insipid")
Steve Kong ("awful piece of filmmaking")
Susan Wloszczyna (USA Today) (out of 4)
Ted the Movie Guy (out of 4)
Ultimate! Movies (out of 4)
Vladimir V. Zelevinsky ("numerous plot holes and impossibilities")
The Weekly Movie Review (out of 5)
Weekly Movie Reviews (out of 4)
Wesley Lovell (out of 4)