Top 9 Things I Found MOST Irritating About Godzilla
I went to see Godzilla with an open mind. Unfortunately, it was the most
inane and ridiculous movie I have ever seen. So bad, in fact, that I have
been moved to create this page - it started off as the Top 5 things,
but I kept thinking of REALLY BAD things to add in. Here's
someone else's opinion. And here's
9 reasons for liking Godzilla (well sort of). I am now collecting links
to Godzilla reviews - a very entertaining pastime. See the bottom of the
page.
9. The reuse (3 times) of the footage
of the Japanese man having a cigarette lighter waved under his nose saying
"Gojira...Gojira...Gojira". Seeing it once was bad enough but the footage
just had to be recycled twice.
8. The sheer stupidity of Matthew Broderick
apparently not realizing he is standing in a huge footprint. Is he blind,
or is he stupid (or is it just the audience)?
7. The childish attempted attack
on Siskel & Ebert. Just because the critics don't like previous movies
you have done (eg Independence Day - another stinker which I will write
up sooner or later) does not give you the right to attempt to insult them
in your next movie. This shows gross disrespect to your audience who would
rather see Hollywood bitchiness off screen rather than pay to see it presented
on screen.
6. The really inane side plot of
the French secret agent's quest for a good cup of coffee. Was this supposed
to be an attempt at humour? Guess what, it wasn't funny.
5. The videotape labelled "Top Secret".
Get serious!
4. The obvious errors of scale.
A monster that is as tall as a skyscraper and yet fits into subway tunnels.
Hmmmm, must be his special "shrinko" powers that we weren't told about.
3. Audrey (Matthew Broderick's 'love
interest'). How insipid and puerile can a character yet? Godzilla chomping
Audrey (or maybe they could even have the plant from Little Shop Of Horrors
do it) - I'd like to see that!
2. The blatant product placements.
If I want to see an ad for Blockbuster Video or Swatch, I will turn on
my television. The worst part about these product placements is that the
action just STOPS while they have their 30 second ad spot. This movie is
the worst example of this that I have seen to date (paying to see advertisements
does NOT appeal to me).
1. That #$%@ rain!
Rating 0/10
© Michael Demtschyna
Any comments?
Links To Other Peoples' Reviews
Alex
Patterson
(out of 4)
All-In-One
(out of 5)
American
Movie Reviews
Andy
Groom ("sadly lacking")
Apollo Leisure
Guide
(out of 10)
B.
Fatt & Lazy
(B. Fatt)
(Lazy)
Barbara Shulgasser
(San Francisco Examiner) ("You got a
100-foot monster trashing Manhattan, and you want a plot, too?")
Beau
Murray
(out of 10)
BigScreen
Cinema Guide (multiple reviews, mainly bad)
Bill
Chambers (ActiveGuide) 0 (out of
4)
Bjorn Thomson
(Savoy Magazine)
(out of 4)
Brendan
McBride
(out of 10)
Brian Thomas
("Godzilla is only exciting when the monsters
are onscreen")
Bruce
Diamond (Hollywood Movies & Reviews)
(out of 4)
Carmelo
& Wesley
(out of 9)
Chad Polenz
(out of 4)
Chris
A. Bolton (24 Frames Per Second) ("run for
the exits as fast as you can")
Chris Holland
& Scott Hamilton (Stomp Tokyo)
(out of 5)
Christine Phillips (Flying
Inkpot Movie Reviews) (WEIRD review)
Christopher
Brandon (TNT)
(out of 10)
coaster
(out of 10)
The Common Guy C-
Dave
George(out
of 4)
Dave Saunders
Dr. Daniel
(out of 5)
Dr_NiK
and Keyser Soze
(out of 10)
drkpitt
(out of ?)
Dwayne
Gilepski
(out of 10)
Eddie Cockrell
(Nitrate Online) ("The acting is as engagingly
shallow as the characters themselves")
eirias
("a scary thrill ride")
The
Flick Filosopher ("Godzilla failed to live
up to already low expectations")
Gareth
Watkins
(out of 10)
Gary
Kamiya ("The plot is about as ridiculous as
you'd expect")
Gena
Radcliffe ("Godzilla is pretty much one of
those "leave your brain at home" type movies")
Harry
J Knowles (Ain't-It-Cool) ("Gosh, that film
sucks")
Harvey O'Brien ("a
pretty weak picture")
Heather
Clisby (Movie Magazine International) ("don't
bother bringing your brain, you'll only hurt yourself.. ")
Internet Movie Database
Links to Reviews
Jack Choo (Flying Inkpot
Movie Reviews)
(out of 5)
Jack Garner
("Godzilla delivers best what summer filmgoers
want")
James
Berardinelli
(out of 4)
James O'Ehley(out
of 4)
Jeremy M.
Posner (Film Scouts) ("Godzilla is everything
it tries to be")
Jim
Byerley (HBO) ("The new GODZILLA has everything
that money can buy except a good script, decent characters and a sense
of humor")
Joey
(out of 5)
John
Hartl ("it's process cheese without flavor")
John
Powell (Jam! Showbiz)
(out of 5)
John
Robinson
(out of 5)
John
Zhu ("big lizard, bigger bust")
Jon Gonzales
("Godzilla is rife with plot holes, physically
impossible stunts, cardboard comedic figures and product placement
spots")
Joshua
Smith ("special effects do nothing to cover
up the holes in its script")
Krazy Kevin ("a
confused, cover-all-bases chick-flick of a disaster film")
Leah
Rozen ("You couldn't care less what happens
to the movie's flimsy characters")
Lisa
Alspector (Chicago Reader) ("overlong, neither
funny nor scary movie")
Lisa
Osborne (Box Office Magazine) ("lasts about
20 minutes too long and needs a script")
Liz
Braun (Toronto Sun) ("New monster movie is
long on critter, but comes up short on jitters")
Louis
B. Hobson (Calgary Sun) ("Maria Pitillo as
his ditzy, lovelorn girlfriend is excruciatingly bad")
Manny Nevarez
(out of 4)
Marc
Horton (Edmonton Journal) ("Great effects,
but there's no story")
Mark Ramsey (Moviejuice)
("a movie that fulfilled every diminished expectation
imaginable")
Matt Easterbrook
(out of 5)
Matthew
Leary (Radio Free Movie Review)
(out of 10)
Michael
Dequina ("technically superb but flavorless
piece of sci-fi hackwork")
Michael
Grace
(out of 5)
Mick
LaSalle (San Francisco Chronicle) ("an overblown
action monstrosity with no surprises, no exhilaration and no thrills")
Mike
(out of 5)
MovieViews
(out of 5)
Mr. Cranky
(out of 5)
Mr.
Jeff
(out of 12)
Mr
Showbiz
(out of 10)
Nathaniel
R. Atcheson
(out of 10)
Paul
(out of 10)
Peter
Rainer ("Godzilla remake isn't up to snuff")
The
Projectionist
Ram Samuldrala
("The effects are great and represent the sole
reason to see this movie")
Red
Mike ("not even rental")
Roger
Ebert
Roger
Moore
Ronnie
Sevin (Movies At Home)(out
of 5)
RW (The DVD
Journal)
(out of 10)
Ryan
Doom
(out of 5)
Scott
Murdock
(out of 10)
Screen
It!
(out of 10)
The
Self-Made Critic
(out of 5)
Shane
Ham (Journal X) ("the plot and characters
are as ridiculous as Independence Day")
Shawn
Levy
(out of 4)
Skyler
Miller (Reel Time)
Sleep
Deprivation Institute
(out of 5)
Stephan
Magcosta ("sappy, borderline insipid")
Steve
Kong ("awful piece of filmmaking")
Susan
Wloszczyna (USA Today)
(out of 4)
Ted the Movie Guy
(out of 4)
Ultimate!
Movies
(out of 4)
Vladimir
V. Zelevinsky ("numerous plot holes and impossibilities")
The Weekly
Movie Review
(out of 5)
Weekly
Movie Reviews
(out of 4)
Wesley
Lovell
(out of 4)