Shriek: If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th

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Details At A Glance

General
Extras
Category (Very Bad) Satire Menu Animation & Audio
Menu Audio
Audio Commentary - Steven Nemeth (Producer) et al
Cast Biographies
Theatrical Trailer
Rating m.gif (1166 bytes)
Year Released 2000
Running Time 82:28 Minutes
RSDL/Flipper No/No
Cast & Crew
Start Up Menu
Region 4 Director John Blanchard
Studio
Distributor
Rhino Films
Universal Home Video
Starring Julie Benz
Harley Cross
Majandra Delfino
Simon Rex
Danny Strong
Coolio
Aimee Graham
Case ?
RPI $36.95 Music Tyler Bates
Video
Audio
Pan & Scan/Full Frame None English (Dolby Digital 2.0, 224Kb/s)
English Audio Commentary (Dolby Digital 2.0, 224Kb/s)
Widescreen Aspect Ratio 1.78:1
16x9 Enhancement
16x9Yes.jpg (4536 bytes)
Original Aspect Ratio 1.85:1
Miscellaneous
Macrovision Yes Smoking Yes
Subtitles None Annoying Product Placement Yes
Action In or After Credits Yes, a Where Are They Now? after credits

Plot Synopsis

    Shriek: If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th seems to have something of an interesting history about it. Apparently written a while before Scary Movie (some of the jokes of that latter film are lifted wholesale from this effort), this film went straight to cable in the USA, and has pretty much received a drubbing from critics ever since. To be perfectly frank, I find it easy to see why after attempting to sit through this turgid effort, proving that just because a film was conceived before the one that borrows from it doesn't mean that it will be the superior production. From every camera angle to every tacky attempt at a joke, the production of Shriek: If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th screams "cheap" in a deafening voice.

    At its heart, Shriek: If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th is a spoof of I Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream, but the latter is where the real difficulty lies. Scream itself was intended to be satirical at heart, although it was so subtle in this aim that it was hard to tell this at a casual glance, which begs the question of how to satirize a send-up. Generally speaking, the jokes have to be as clever as the original send-up, even if they are so low-brow that they could have been written by a mob of primary school boys during a lunch break. This is where Shriek: If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th comes apart, as the jokes are doing well to even approach being clever, let alone funny. Admittedly, the introduction is quite hilarious in and of itself, but it all goes downhill rapidly from there, with flashback sequences that get boring in a hurry, and vastly overdone jokes about the state of education in America.

    The film begins with a young woman named Screw (Aimee Graham) answering a phone call from a killer in black robes and a hockey mask. I won't spoil the few funny moments that this sequence contains (this was done much better in Scary Movie), but suffice it to say that Screw dies and the entire student populace of Bulimia High are scared out of their wits. Enter the new guy in the school, a rather pleasant guy by the name of Dawson (Harley Cross), who is soon met by Barbara (Julie Benz), Martina (Majandra Delfino), Slab (Simon Rex), and Boner (Danny Strong). Cue two unfunny running jokes, the first of these being the proper pronunciation of Boner's name, and the second being The Principal (Coolio), who seems to have a bit of an obsession with Prince (or Ponce as I like to call him). Meanwhile, a reporter by the name of Hagitha Utslay (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) is covering the murders in progress for a network called empTV (unfunny joke number three that the entire underground music community thought of long before this film was even conceived). Meanwhile, as the five heroes recall what they did last Summer, Halloween, or whatever, they are subjected to a series of near misses by The Killer (Chris Palermo). While I'm at it, I should mention the presence of Doughy (Tom Arnold), a security guard from the local shopping mall.

    Frankly, if none of the actors who appear in this dreadful film ever work again, that would be a good thing, and I have to wonder what the hell happened to the career of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. The only actor in this film who comes across as remotely appealing would be Majandra Delfino, who at least gives us some change from the uniformity of the protagonists in the films that the makers were trying to send up. Overall, I don't even recommend a rental for this film; as a matter of fact, I recommend that the people who made this film should be executed for crimes against humanity.

Transfer Quality

Video

    If you look back on my plot summary, you will notice three key words: "straight to cable", which spring to mind when describing exactly what is wrong with each and every shot in this film. The resultant transfer is very flat and unappealing, although I must be fair to the people at Universal Home Video and absolve them of the blame since I doubt the film itself gave them a lot to work with.

    The transfer is presented in an aspect ratio of 1.78:1, and it is 16x9 Enhanced, which brings me to another negative about this film: you could crop this film to fit the old shape of television and I doubt you'd notice any real difference. On top of that, the film never really approaches anything that resembles real sharpness, with even a lot of objects in the foreground of some shots being hazy and murky. The shot in which we are introduced to a student at the high school by the name of Chuckie (Steven Anthony Lawrence) is a sterling example of this: Chuckie appears to only just barely be in focus for most of the shot.

    The shadow detail is acceptable, and there is no low-level noise.

    The colour saturation of this transfer is muted and drab, also reflecting the cheap production values of the original photography. It would not surprise me to learn that this film was shot on videotape or a lesser-quality format than thirty-five millimetre film, considering how little vibrancy there is in the colour palette.

    MPEG artefacts are not a problem in this transfer, which is a credit to Universal Home Video. Film-to-video artefacts are slightly problematic, with aliasing being apparent in the opening credits, and various other points where the original source material finally had enough resolution for this artefact to become apparent in the transfer. Film artefacts consisted of some black and white marks on the picture, as well as some scratches such as the noticeable one at the lower right of the frame at 5:34. Finally, some warping in the film image became apparent at 35:38, with what originally looked like film scratches also revealing a few bends in the picture that were slightly distracting.

    Once again, Universal Home Video have chosen to encode this film without subtitles. If I may make a suggestion, I would at least like to see English for the Hearing Impaired being included on future releases, because these subtitles can be handy when the dialogue is problematic, even for those of us with perfect hearing like myself.

Audio

    There are two soundtracks included on this DVD, both of which seem to reflect the film's straight-to-cable heritage. The first is the original English dialogue, which is encoded in Dolby Digital 2.0 with a bitrate of 224 kilobits per second, with the second being an English Audio Commentary, also encoded in Dolby Digital 2.0 with a bitrate of 224 kilobits per second. I listened to both of these soundtracks, more out of proper reviewing protocol than any real desire to indulge in this film.

    The dialogue is clear and easy to understand at almost all times, which just makes it all the more torturous to listen to. The only element of this soundtrack that I feel would pose a problem would be The Killer's voice, which was slightly distorted in an effort to make it reminiscent of the voice of the killers in the Scream trilogy. There were no discernible problems with audio sync.

    The score music in this film is credited to one Tyler Bates, and it is a perfect match for the film in that it is banal, self-recycling, and ultimately forgettable. The one purpose this score music seemed to serve was to make me even more reluctant to sit through this film from start to finish. Thankfully, I had my trusty stereo CD player and some self-made compilations of music that would better fit into better films to flush my ears out with.

    The surround channels are not used by this soundtrack at all, reflecting the straight-to-television heritage of this turgid film. There didn't seem to be any real separation between the two stereo channels of this soundtrack, either, with the entire soundfield coming across as rather flat and monaural. Engaging the rarely used Pro-Logic mode on my amplifier only served to make the soundtrack seem more flat and unappealing, as it generally tends to do, so those who are looking out for a surround system workout will be well advised to leave this disc alone. The subwoofer frequently took redirected signal to support the music and some sound effects, but all in all, it was never really worked out by this soundtrack, either.

Extras

Menu

    The menu features an animated introduction and Dolby Digital 2.0 audio.

Audio Commentary - Steven Nemeth (Producer) et al

    Presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 with a bitrate of 224 kilobits, this audio commentary begs the question of whether the participants think there really is anything interesting about this film, or whether they think I want to hear anything they have to say. Masochists might enjoy this commentary, I certainly did not.

Cast Biographies

    Biographies are provided for Aimee Graham, Coolio, Danny Strong, Harley Cross, Julie Benz, Majandra Delfino, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Tom Arnold, Shirley Jones, and Simon Rex. They are mildly interesting to read.

Theatrical Trailer

    This two minute and thirty-two second trailer is presented Full Frame with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound.

Censorship

    I was hopeful that there would be some censorship concerns with this DVD, so I wouldn't have to sit through it for quite as long. Unfortunately, there are no specific censorship issues with this title.

R4 vs R1

    For some reason, the more reputable DVD review sites in Region 1 seemed reluctant to provide me with any information about this particular title, so I am relying on the say-so of an online retailer here.

    The Region 4 version of this disc misses out on;

    The Region 1 version of this disc misses out on;     If you really must have this piece of crap, then the local disc is obviously the way to go since some explanation is offered as to why people agreed to make and be in this stupid film. Various sites describe the soundtrack on the Region 1 disc as being Dolby Digital 2.0 surround-encoded, while others describe it is being Dolby Digital 5.1, either of which would be an improvement upon the soundtrack we do get. All in all, however, the Region 4 version of the disc appears to be the better choice by virtue of its extras package.

Summary

    Shriek: If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th is an irredeemable piece of &%@!, and the production values reflect this.

    The video quality is average.

    The audio quality is average.

    The extras are minimal.
 
 

Ratings (out of 5)

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 © Dean McIntosh (my bio sucks... read it anyway)
May 19, 2001

Review Equipment
   
DVD Toshiba SD-2109, using S-video output
Display Samsung CS-823AMF (80 cm) in 16:9 and 4:3 modes, calibrated using the NTSC DVD version of Video Essentials.
Audio Decoder Built In (Amplifier)
Amplification Sony STR-DE835, calibrated using the NTSC DVD version of Video Essentials.
Speakers Yamaha NS-45 Front Speakers, Yamaha NS-90 Rear Speakers, Yamaha NS-C120 Centre Speaker, JBL Digital 10 Active Subwoofer