|Category||Action||Theatrical Trailer(s)||Yes, 1 - 1.78:1 (16x9 Enhanced), Dolby Digital 2.0|
|Rating||Other Trailer(s)||Yes, 1 - Dolby Digital City|
|Year Released||1999||Commentary Tracks||None|
|Running Time||82:05 Minutes||Other Extras||Dennis Rodman Talent File (are they serious?)|
|Pan & Scan/Full Frame||None||MPEG||None|
|Widescreen Aspect Ratio||1.78:1||Dolby Digital||5.1|
||Soundtrack Languages||English (Dolby Digital 5.1, 448 Kb/s)
German (Dolby Digital 5.1, 448 Kb/s)
|Theatrical Aspect Ratio||1.85:1||
|Annoying Product Placement||No|
|Action In or After Credits||No|
Dennis Rodman stars in this film as Simon, an undercover Interpol agent, and I am pretty damned sure that I cannot be the only one who has a problem with the believability factor of that plot point. Let's ignore for a second that Simon would have to qualify as the most conspicuous undercover agent in history, and that he wouldn't be able to walk into the lobby of an airport without a million sirens going off, because these are small considerations compared to the fact that he just can't act his way out of a wet paper bag. As I said, Simon (Dennis Rodman) is an Interpol agent who protects various important people from attacks by international terrorists and generally nasty people. It is worth noting that Rodman actually delivers a restrained performance compared with Double Team, and some people have stated in one forum or another that it makes his attempts at acting somewhat more tolerable. In any case, the beginning of Simon Sez sees Simon protecting a treacherous Colonel by the name of Jacques Telore (Igor De Savitch), with the help of Macro (John Pinette), Micro (Ricky Harris), and some high-tech gadgetry. After rescuing the Colonel from an arms deal gone sour with a group of terrorists, Simon takes some time off in France, and runs into Nick (Dane Cook), a rather squirmy little hustler that Simon used to deal with at some unspecified point before the film's events. This is a rather pathetic attempt at bringing comic relief into a film where the story and star provide it without even trying.
I really won't go into divulging more of this film's plot, because there really isn't any to speak of, other than what is required to fill out the eighty-two minutes. After Nick and Simon attempt to exchange a briefcase for the lives of two people who happen to be related to a member of the government, they discover that the case contains a pair of bricks and a compact disc full of classified information. After this, the film becomes little more than an excuse to move Dennis Rodman from one action scene to another, and an especially poor one at that. Strictly a rental piece, friends and neighbours.
MPEG artefacts did not appear at any moment, although the overall needs of most of the imagery would not really be that high compared with the amount of space available to the film. Film-to-video artefacts went unnoticed, although there was a considerable amount of wobble in the picture that seemed to have been introduced by the camera mechanism, and it would not surprise me to learn that the action sequences were simply shot with a shoulder-mounted camera. Film artefacts were more or less completely absent from the presentation, reflecting the youth of the film and the minimal number of times that anyone would have paid to see this dreck at the flicks. Now, you would think that these factors would result in a great, wonderful picture that is pleasant to look at, but in a nutshell, the cinematography is utter crap that should never have seen the daylight. None of the shots during the main feature make any sense from a detail point of view, and the aforementioned camera wobble makes it all the worse. The obviously fake computer-generated flame effects that occur seventy-five minutes into the film certainly don't help matters any.
The music is credited to one Brian Tyler, and does nothing to separate itself from the typical collection of action-film cues that appear in films such as this with great regularity. Having said that much, the score music is appropriately dramatic, fast-paced, and exciting, which lends a more enjoyable feel to the musical point of the film than any of the acting. The best thing about the music of this film is that there was none of the pathetic rap "songs" that normally accompany films that star the likes of Rodman.
The surround presence is basically the same as many a B-grade action film, with the action scenes basically receiving a 5.1 mix that made excessive use of the surround channels, and the dialogue receiving what sounded like straight stereo. Not that this is necessarily bad, but it isn't the greatest of arrangements compared to some other discs that have made their way through my player recently. The rears received a fair amount of use to support the music, but were otherwise only called upon to add some presence to the action sequences. The subwoofer was used to support the music and action sequences, without calling any specific attention to itself.
The video quality is fine, although some definition seems to be lost in backgrounds at times.
The audio quality is superb.
The extras are very light for a forty-dollar disc.
|DVD||Grundig GDV 100 D, using composite output; Toshiba SD-2109, using S-video output|
|Display||Panasonic TC-29R20 (68 cm), 4:3 mode, using composite input; Samsung CS-823AMF (80 cm), 16:9 mode/4:3 mode, using composite and S-video inputs|
|Audio Decoder||Built In (Amplifier)|
|Speakers||Panasonic S-J1500D Front Speakers, Philips PH931SSS Rear Speakers, Philips FB206WC Centre Speaker, JBL Digital 10 Subwoofer|